I was born in and trapped for 30 years. And I felt the same way you did.
Then one day, I got fed up and said no more and I never went back.
I was once a pioneer and a ministerial servant.
I gave up a lot of phony friends and a full social calendar.
I don't regret leaving. I have had a good life out of the cult.
One bit of advice, I can give you from my experience is, I have always been an avid reader.
I have my own library a room of books.
If you want to leave or understand if and how to leave, start out reading "your erroneous zones" by Wayne Dyer.
And see where that leaves/ leads you.